How to Give Women the Sex They Really Want

Most men suck at sex. There, I said it.

But to be honest, it’s not all our fault. The resources that exist to teach men are generally awful. We have:

• Porn, most of which is unrealistic. Freakishly massive dongs that thrust full force for 15 minutes, fingerblasting, and girls faking orgasms left and right. Even the majority of amateur stuff is a poor educator.
• Friends who often give bad advice because they don’t know better themselves.
• Advice that focuses only on “techniques”. While some are useful, many are overkill or wrong. You don’t need 43 ways to lick a clitoris.

They’re all missing the real core of what defines an amazing lover…

How you make a woman feel.

The emotional climax you bring her to. How you turn her on to the point where she can’t even hold back her orgasm. Where she’s so sexually charged that you unleash her primal state.

The good thing is, any man can learn how to become an amazing lover — regardless of penis size.

Note: This is a graphic post. The links and content below are NSFW.

1. Create variety. It’s the spice of life and the bedroom. I know many women say they always enjoy missionary position but human biology is attracted to new. And we often can’t know what we’ll enjoy until we experience it ourselves.
   Change it up sometimes. Role play. Let her take control. Have phone or video sex when you’re apart. Tie each other up or use a blindfold. Turn off the lights and have sex by candlelight. Put on sexy instrumental music. Use a toy…or two.
   Be spontaneous. Try new positions. Try new places — both indoors and out. I’ve had sex against the wall, on countertops, on laundry machines, in showers, and in jacuzzis. I’ve also gotten hot in cars, in clubs, in a lake, at the park, on the beach (sand sucks), and in public bathrooms (not proud of this).
   Yes, I’m aware that having sex in public is against the law. I’m not saying you have to do that (although it can be a rush). The point is to open your mind to sexual possibilities and realize how fun it is to experiment together.
2. Build sexual tension throughout the day. Foreplay doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts in the morning when you stroke her ass as she’s lying next to you. It continues in the afternoon when you send her flirtatious and dirty texts.
   It’s when you rub her thighs on the drive to a restaurant. When you’re at the restaurant and play footsie under the table. And when you’re leaving and whisper exactly what you’re going to do to her once you get home.
   You want her panties soaked and her mind stirring before the real foreplay begins. Do that and she’ll barely be able to restrain herself.
3. Have lots of foreplay. You’re probably not doing enough of it. While us men are ready to go in 30 seconds or less, most women need to be primed. The more turned on she gets before sex, the wetter and better it’ll feel for both parties.
   Take your time and tease the hell out of her. Kiss every inch of her body from her neck down to her thighs. Rub her crotch over her panties. Take her panties off slowly. Relish in the feeling of her soft skin.
   Go down on her. Lick around her lips, then on them, and move to her clit. Don’t listen to the “draw the alphabet” advice. For beginners, start with a circular motion and apply consistent gentle pressure. Make sure your tongue is wet. Increase firmness and speed as she gets worked up. Her moans will give you guidance.
   There’s no specific duration of foreplay but 10-15 minutes is a minimum. Some sessions can last for much longer.
4. Be dominant. While this doesn’t apply to everyone, the overwhelming majority of women crave a dominant partner. Keep in mind, dominance and romance are not mutually exclusive. I personally haven’t met a girl who didn’t like being taken in the bedroom. Women don’t want a timid boy, they want a man who fucks them.
   Of course, this is a touchy subject. The last thing you want to do is scare a woman or make her uncomfortable. That’s why you always talk to her about what she likes and what she’s comfortable with. And you’re always conscious ofher body language.
   So how far do you go as a dominant? That depends on what you both want.
   Some beginner ideas are grabbing her by the waist and taking her suddenly. Pulling her clothes off aggressively. Pressing her up against a wall. Pinning her body or wrists down. Hard thrusting. Dirty talk. Grabbing her legs, spreading them, and putting them over your shoulders. Biting. Spanking. Tugging the base of her hair. Light bondage. 
   Then there are more hardcore avenues which require even deeper trust and communication. Things like vulgar dirty talk, rape fantasy, choking, gagging, spitting, slapping, flogging, humiliation, and orgasm denial. Everyone has their own level of kink.
   Finally, always have a safe word. I saw a good system I like — red, yellow, green. Red is “stop.” Yellow is “back off a little, but don’t stop.” Green is “give me more!”